Trademark infringement (silly)

[Brian Hamon]

G(R)e(R)n(R)t(R)l(R)em(R)en,

I(R)t is(R) w(R)ith(R) g(R)r(R)ea(R)t regret that I mu(R)st inf(R)o(R)rm 
y(R)ou that I hav(R)e registered(R) trademark(R)s on most of the letters of 
the English alp(R)hab(R)et.

Your unauthoriz(R)ed use of these trademarks has c(R)aused considerable 
confusion and cost me considerable effort. After all, I am forced to answer 
questions from people who, confused by your malapropisms, come to me for 
help. This costs me considerably.

Henceforth, restrict your written communications to non-trademarked letters 
X and J.

Thank you.